C                                           Ab                C

I was walking- down the high street- when I heard footsteps behind me,


    Ab                     C      F           C     F             C

and there was a little old man in scarlet and grey, chuckling away.


                                          Ab             C

Well he trotted- back to my house- and he sat beside the telly,


         Ab                C       F        C       F             C  

with his tiny hands on his tummy, chuckling away,  chugging all day.





[spoken]  "I ought to report you to the gnome office."  "Gnome office, ha,ha,ha!"



Bb9           F7               Bb9                           F7  

Ha,ha,  ha!-  Hee,hee,  hee!-  I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me.-



Bb9           F7               Bb9                           Ab7            F7

Ha,ha,  ha!-  Hee,hee,  hee!-  I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me.-



                  C

Said the laughing gnome.

                                             Ab                 C



Well I gave him- roasted toad-stools-  And a glass of dandelion wine.



       Ab                    C              F           C       F              C

Then I put him on a train to Eastbourne and carried his bag and gave him a fag.





C

"Ave you got a light boy?"  "'Ere! Where do you come from?"





"Gnome-man's land."  "Oh,really."



C                                      Ab                        C

In the morning- when I woke up- he was sitting on the edge of my bed-



         Ab                     C           F           C         F               C

with his brother whose name was Fred.  He'd brought him along- to sing me a song.-



C

"Alright let's here it?"  "'Ere! what's that clicking sound?"



                                     F

"That's Fred. He's a metrognome."   "Own up. I'm a gnome, ain' I?"



C

"Ain't you got a gnome to go to?"





"No! We're gnomads."    "Didn't they teach you to get your 'aircut at school? You 
look like a rolling gnome."





"Not at the London school of Ecognomics."



C                                            Ab                   C

Now they staying- up the chimney-  and we're living on caviar and honey-



               Ab                 C             F      C         F      C